Siri Is Obsessed With Apple Watch
Siri has a number of preprogrammed Apple Watch-related Easter eggs, such as, “Just helping cast ingots and compress billets and blast zirconia beads for the Apple Watch. Ingots and billets and beads, oh my!”
The quips are fun, but they also highlight just how far Apple thinks it is ahead of the smartwatch game with its upcoming device. …
Another quip claims Siri was “just with the Apple metallurgy team, discussing the durability of ice-nine” (a reference to a fictitious material that threatens to destroy life on Earth in Kurt Vonnegut’s novel Cat’s Cradle).
There’s even an amusing swipe at Jony Ive’s British pronunciation of “aluminium” with Siri saying that he/she, “Just got back from IL8[,] mining some alumin-ium for the Apple Watch.”
Apple Watch may indeed be far ahead of everyone else in the smartwatch game, but the irony here is that Siri has always lagged far behind. I’ll be blunt: Siri is the worst Apple product I’ve ever used. Granted my history doesn’t go too far back into some of Cupertino’s ’90s failures, but for most of my tech-formative years, the company’s been knocking out home run after slam dunk.
When Siri first hit the scene with iPhone 4S in late 2011, most of the forward-thinking Apple community figured it was the start of the logical last word, the input platform for the computer of the future. But it wasn’t. Instead, it was a barely useful, needlessly anthropomorphized, brand-laden “virtual assistant” whose sole reliable function was (and remains) setting alarms. She’s so bad at everything else, I haven’t bothered to use her for much more over the years.
With Apple Watch, I know that’s going to change. I know I’ll have to embrace Siri — stupid name, shrill voice, bad jokes, rotten Easter eggs and all — in order to get the most even the least out of Apple’s new wearable. So while I’m excited to see this stagnating service wind up on a platform that actually makes sense and might finally justify its existence, I’m also trepidatious about Apple’s overall implementation. The company hasn’t gotten it right with Siri so far, and I’m not as comfortable as I’d like to be in making the gal a more intimate part of my life. Hey, I’m not that lonely.
Still, Siri claims she’s working hard to improve our working relationship. I really hope I can trust her with my heart this time.
Well, my heart rate, anyways.