What Will Your Apple Watch Say About You?
If you buy an Apple Watch, prepare to be judged. Not because you’re an Apple fan, or that you’re embracing wearable tech, but because your choice of model will tell everyone around you how much you earn, or are prepared to spend on a smartwatch. A new social hierarchy based purely on snobbery is coming, and the Apple Watch is going to be its gauge. …
Because the Apple Watch will be more visible than a house or car, you better get familiar with how the model you choose will make you look, so you can find your place in this brave new world. That is, if you still want one at all after understanding your options.
Look poor, douchey, or stupid: You decide! …
What a shame. The Apple Watch looks cool. Perhaps it’s best to wait for a year or two before buying one, by which time it’ll be as ubiquitous as the iPhone, and this hideous artificial hierarchy will have crumbled. At least, we hope it does.
It won’t.
This “new social hierarchy based purely on snobbery” is no more going than it is coming. All such hierarchies are “artificial,” and all have been the absolute rule since the concepts of personal wealth and class came into existence. Confident individuals, of course, reject such judgmental nonsense off-hand, but there will always remain a vocal subset of malcontents beholden to following society’s predictably petty strictures. But even if Cupertino’s new device does manage to shake off the stigma of poverty/douchiness/stupidity by reaching iPhone-level ubiquity (which it most certainly will not), Apple Watch wearers will then be labeled “sheep.”
And that’s just as baad.